Updated: Feb 4, 2022
The Pointy People are OUR shadows. They give a voice and a visual to OUR collective "darkness". Their intention is to bring loving awareness to that which scares us.
The Pointy People were born when Shaina (artist) went to Interior Design school back in 2009. In her drawing class, the professor had drawn a similar figure on the chalkboard and Shaina immediately fell in LOVE.
“When we love ourselves fully and unconditionally, we love everyone else. It is as simple as that."
Then in 2019 Shaina began participating in Voice Dialogue... Immediately she knew she had found her home for her beloved Pointy People. They were shadows!
WHAT IS A SHADOW?
I would like to take this time to introduce you to Hal and Sidra Stone. They are the two big hearted Ph.D's behind the Voice Dialogue method (Shadow Work) that rings true to my soul. I will let them describe what the shadows are.
"We see the shadows as selves. As the smallest discrete units of the psyche: as energy bodies that vibrate within us and determine 'who we are' at any given time. Each self has its own way of viewing the world, its own perceptions, its own beliefs and rules, and its own specific history. And even though these are energy bodies, they manifest themselves quite individually in the body and can affect it in a number of ways. Sometimes this is more apparent than others as, for example, when one self has a headache or a stammer, or high blood pressure, or high blood sugar or allergies and another doesn’t. Some selves can sing or dance while others cannot. Some have fewer facial wrinkles (inner children), some even have differing color eyes.
"The selves remain basically consistent through time. The Responsible Parent will always be a Responsible Parent (although it may begin to understand other ways of viewing the world), the Rational Mind will always be a Rational Mind and will never embrace feelings (although it might gain an appreciation of their role), and the Child will never grow up. But as we work with them, we do see changes. These changes can take a number of forms."
- Hal and Sidre Stone
For more detailed explanations from the founders of this modality, see below link:
https://www.voicedialogueinternational.com/FAQ/What_are_the_Selves.htm
WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?
A shadow is born when a self (energy pattern) is disowned. A self is disowned when its existence threatens the humans safety. For a visual, imagine a shadow as a blocked energy pattern. It is still a self at its core, but something is standing in front of it casting a shadow over it.
What casts the shadow? A self that is born alongside your personality is called the protector/ controller self. This selves only job is to keep you safe. It is a very powerful self that the other selves respect. It is respected because the threat of being left behind in this human experience is just not an option. So, the protector/ controller does just that- takes control. It organizes the developing selves into a primary personality and disowns the selves that do not line up with its view on acceptable behavior. The primary selves are placed in a position that casts the shadow over the disowned selves.
In this space, we believe that as humans when we are born we have no personality. We are a clean slate. We come into this physical experience with our souls unique blueprint, but as far as our personality- nada. The personality is part of this human experience, so it makes sense that we do not have one at birth. We get to develop it! How exciting!
We develop our personality by observing the world around us. For example- when a baby is developing it notices that mom smiles when it smiles. This gives the baby a sense of control and a knowing of positive social queues. It starts to know that if it is feeling detached (scariest thing for a human because we are social creatures and detachment deep in our psyche feels literally like death) it knows that it can smile to get that feeling of safety and attachment back. We can say that the baby has developed the "happy" self.
So, let's explore how a self can become a shadow. I will share how my "happy" self was disowned.
THE STORY OF A SHADOW
For me, my happy self was socially disowned when I went to school. Before I start this story I want to tell my family and friends that I am, now, grateful for the below experience. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I knew/ know you loved me no matter what, and for this, I am eternally grateful.
My happy self was placed in the shadows when I went to school.
Before school, I was a little weirdo with big energy that was unconditionally loved by my family. I didn’t mind my programming and I loved my family and the life I was blessed to live. Well, when I went to school that all changed- quickly. There seemed to be something about me that simultaneously turned people on and turned people off. The hot and cold attitudes from the other kids confused me and this contradiction will prove to be a life "struggle" for me that ultimately gets me here now with the confidence to share this story with you.
Now, I was an 8 year old little girl. A confused 8 year old girl. You bet I focused on the things that “others” didn’t like. I became desperate to “change” so that I could fit in. The thing was I HAD NO IDEA what it was that I needed to “change”. I knew though that it sure as heck wasn't my "happy" self. My happy self is a lot. The energy I exude when I am happy is infectious. I can see, now, how this was probably overwhelming to the other kids who were also going through their own struggles at the time. Either way, my happy self was not working, so it was disowned, and my sad self took the stage. And this disowned self became one of my first shadows.
WHY IS ALL OF THIS IMPORTANT?
With this observation of our inner world, we are able to get a clear picture of what a selves existence has been like up to the present moment. This is important because when we understand where a shadow came from and what they have been experiencing in the "dark" all this time, we can meet it with compassion for its experience and love for its gifts instead of fear for our safety and hate for its existence. All a shadow wants is to be seen, owned, loved on and appreciated. Using the Aware Ego Process and Voice Dialogue you gift yourself with this awareness of/ detachment from fear. Alchemizing the fear into love and compassion. The space this creates in your life is profound and truly grants you with peace and clarity.
This may hit your heart just a bit. I know it hit mine. For me, the awareness of my protector/ controller self almost wiped out my victim mentality. When I got to know my protector I came to understand that I had disowned myself before anyone else. I had ignored and shamed parts of myself at a young age and this followed me until about 2 years ago. I had been blaming and shaming others for not "accepting" or "caring" for me. I held such hate (sadness) in my heart because I was constantly feeling like an outcast from others. The realization that I, Shaina, had created this self because I, Shaina, did not accept or care for MYSELF hit me like a wave. I felt relief and grief. Literally the whole spectrum of emotions. After this realization, I took a stand for myself that I will ALWAYS choose me. I will ALWAYS care for me. I will ALWAYS love and accept every bit of myself.
The difference from 8-34 year old Shaina is that I am operating from a platform/ base of self love instead of self hate. I now get to BE HERE NOW. In all of my humanness, in all of my glory, in every shape and emotion. I am here to experience all of this. And holy moly am I grateful.
When we love ourselves fully and unconditionally, we love everyone else. It is as simple as that.
To you, dear reader, I send love and gratitude. Your energy is valuable and I appreciate every second of time you spent in my space.
-Shaina